Kinda...sorta...melancholy

So I'm kinda sorta melancholy...I keep having these anxious moments of how the hell are we really pulling this wedding off in a year!! I'm out of a job soon, taking on the new opportunity to finish a culinary program...new puppy...Jo & Zoe to keep taking care of on top of maintaining what we've got to monthly!

Am I being unrealistic?? This makes me sad during a time when I should be nothing but happy! I keep thinking about how we want a house so bad...is it responsible to have a "wedding" when we don't even own any property? Is it responsible to save $$ toward one day when we could be saving it for a permanent residence? I wax and wane all the time!!

God...I know you listen and I know that there are bigger things to focus on...but if my dreams of having a wedding are truly unattainable, can you step in and tell me so? I know through you all things are possible! You can move mountains to make a path where there is none. Please provide me clarity and discernment as we traverse through this rough journey. I promise to do as you wish...your will be done above my own! I just really need your presence right now!

5 Things Not To Say To Gay Couples Getting Married - Via So You're EnGayged

Came across this article on the website So You're EnGayged; a site I visit daily.

This article is so awesome!  It reflects what I have experienced in responses I've received when telling family that we got engaged.

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Natalie Prizel wrote this post a year ago but we thought it was a great time to repost as the engagement season is coming up!

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Especially when it comes to same-sex weddings. Even those who want to be supportive often come down with severe foot-in-mouth disease. Invited to your niece’s lesbian wedding shindig? Here are a few common things to avoid saying to save you from being labeled a latent homophobe (or just to avoid an awkward silence):

1. You’re getting married? Is that legal?

The legal niceties of same-sex marriage are often not so nice. When someone tells you they’re about the publicly declare their love and commitment to another person, the don’t want you or the State to piss on their parade. If you’re trying to educate yourself on the legal status of same-sex marriage, check out HRC’s website. If you are burning to know right at that moment, at least preface your question with a hearty “Congratulations”.

2. You’re wearing a suit. Does that mean you’re more like the guy?

Rule of thumb: when you assume you make an “a-s-s” out of “u” and “me”. Gender expression and identity varies widely in the LGBT community. If a woman chooses to wear a suit to her wedding, it may be because she identifies as butch or trans* or she hates dresses or she’s having a fat-thigh day/month/year. When you get to know a couple well, you may or may not come to some kind of understanding of how gender works in their relationship. Then again, the mysteries of gender play out in a myriad of ways in all relationships, LGBT and heterosexual.

*Note: if you are unsure of someone’s gender identity (i.e. whether a person identifies as male, female, transgender, genderqueer, or something else), I think it is most often better to ask “How do you identify in terms of gender?” or “What pronouns would you prefer I use?” than making an assumption. Some people will be surprised and maybe upset you asked, but a genuinely well-intentioned question, with the goal of treating a person the way he or she wants to be treated is never wrong.

3. Do the Jews/Christians/Muslims/Wiccans allow that?

My mother always taught me never to discuss religion or politics. Well, not really, but if my mother were just a little bit more proper she might have. Religion can be a beautiful thing in the lives of LGBT people, but it can also be a painful one. If you ask, “Are you having a religious ceremony of any kind?”, most people will explain the ways in which religion and sexuality are being incorporated/reconciled in their wedding. If they don’t, wait till the wedding to find out. And if you’re not invited, I guess you’ll never know.

4. That’s nice that you’re having a celebration, but it’s not a real wedding.

This is just mean. What makes a wedding real? A marriage license? A minister? A $75,000 floral budget? How about love, committment, and community.

5. Isn’t marriage just a heterosexist and patriarchal institution? Why would you buy into it?

This question most often comes from within the LGBT community. LGBT people like straight people choose to marry for a variety of reasons: religious, personal, social, societal, etc. Also, LGBT people, like straight people, choose NOT to marry for a similar variety of reasons. You might not embrace marriage in your personal life or as a worthwhile goal of LGBT activism. But when someone important to you tells you they are going to celebrate their love for another, again, the correct response is “Congratulations”. Everyone should have the right and capability to choose.

By George...I think I've got it!

As I approached my 30's, back some many moons ago, I decided that since I'm older and would be paying for my own wedding, I would not have a wedding party and do the whole pomp and circumstance stuff! Besides, I have several close girlfriends and how would I ever pick a maid of honor??

I think I've found a way to include all my closest girlfriends...I will ask each of them to read something of their choosing as a gift to us at my wedding. It will be great to see what they've selected and prepared to share during this special day. I want all my "girls" to feel like they're part of something bigger...of our love...because they were the ones holding it down with me before Cheryll entered the picture.

The countless hours of bitchin' and moanin' haha, and tears!  So many tears!  They should all know how much I have valued their friendship and how much I love them as if they were truly family. I have been very lucky for how each of them have influenced my life and how well they have loved me and Jordan and now Cheryll.