Our Fabulous First Adventures in Hetero-Bridal-Land

On Saturday, January 8th, we attended the Kiss the Bride bridal expo at Pala Casino (about 35 minutes north of where we live).  I've heard some horror stories about LGBT couples attending hetero bridal events so I braced myself for the worst. I prepared myself by outlining what areas we really wanted to focus on such as photography, dresses, caterers, and photobooths. If we really liked a vendor, then I would engaged in the "we're a same-sex couple, got a problem with that?" schpeal. I prepped Cheryll by promising that I would not drag her to hundreds of these events, just one or two, to get the "experience" and see what deals we could get.

This was, from what I learned, one of the smallest bridal events in the area. Good place to start!  There were about 80 various vendors booked but when we arrived (around 11am, it was slated to start at 10) there were still many empty tables. 

We all registered as brides (Michelle my BFF included lol) and when asked about our wedding dates and grooms I always chimed in "we have no grooms, this is MY bride" and pointed to Cheryll. This was kinda ok...no one gasped. We got a few ok's. Is it terrible that I sometimes love to put people on the spot? hahaha

While we're not stuck on gay owned/operated vendors one vendor in which I feel compelled to book gay only is our officiant. We met an officiant, a pastor, who when I asked how he felt about officiating a same-sex wedding replied with "hey, I have my beliefs, and you have yours, I don't have a problem with it." Ok buddy...not gonna cut it for me...sorry. Is it too much to ask to have someone marry us who TRULY believes in our union?  I want our officiants beliefs to align with ours...that we are equal and deserve the same rights. I have someone in mind actually and she too is a lesbian so we'll see.

There were no caterers! We stopped at the only two bakers represented and I have to tell you...unimpressive! While one had samples with what looked like pretty innovative selections; I rather enjoyed the mango cake, they failed to deliver on aesthetics.  Their portfolio had cakes I could bake and decorate. The other had images in a portfolio book that looked great, but what they displayed in way of cupcake arrangements on their table was less than perfect. The decorated boxes in between each layer of cupcakes was tattered and sloppy, their cupcakes - dry.

Only one florist was represented. They were part of an all encompassing outfit of event planner, venue, florist, etc. Not my thing but I did like one of their bouquets.

Of the three photobooth vendors, one in particular stood out. All Star Photobooth of Anaheim, owned and operated by Josh & Monica Johnson. They call themselves "the Fun Makers". Very personable and easy to talk to. We visited the other booths and there was just no competition. I was very happy with the quality of the photos and all the options Josh walked us through. He & his wife come to your event, one mans the booth and props while the other helps with the scrapbooking table. You can choose color or b/w photos and the options of 3, 5, or 8 picture montages. Their prices were not bad and they provide you a scrapbook for one of the two copies of pics each session spits out. This way, your guests can paste a copy of the pic they took and write a little something to to you. Loved the idea of having this be our guest book! They can also personalize the border of the pictures for your event and showed us samples where they used the same graphics/font from wedding invitations.

Click here for All Star Photobooth!

All Star Photobooth #1

All Star Photobooth #2

The non-competition photo.

We look confused because you couldn't see your image on the screen!

Only one photographer displayed engagement photos and wedding photos of same-sex couples. Glenn Currie Photography of Escondido. Again, very personable and knowledgeable. He reminded Cheryll of crocodile dundee hahaha He took time to speak with us and went out of his way to make us feel comfortable. None of the other photographers came across this way. His pictures were stunning! Also, he has some amazing deals going on if you book him by January 21st! I'm talking 8 hrs of coverage, 2 attendants, engagement shoot, engagement cards, 11x14 signature mat, leather formal album...for UNDER 2k!!!  I'm kinda feeling it! lol  He showed us an album of a same-sex wedding he just photographed in Palm Springs and the shots were creative and looked so special.

Click here for Glenn Currie Photography!

Me looking at hairstyle photos

The only dress shop there was Isis Bridal from San Diego. I did a little research on them before the show but was excited to see some design books from Maggie Sottero at their table. Maggie Sottero is one of my favorite wedding dress designers. The ladies at the table were WAY too engaged in their own conversation and no one said a word to me! This was a complete turnoff! There were at least 5-7 women behind the table; one would think someone would've said hello!  I'm not writing them off completely, because they do have some very eclectic designers featured in their shop and I'm looking for something different. 

Before the fashion show presented by Isis, the MC asked for 4 couple volunteers to participate in a kissing contest. I was like...Heck! Let's give 'em a run for their money! hahaha but it's just not Cheryll's thing to be THAT public. Here is a pic from the contest....typical!!

Me and Michelle waiting for the show

There were a few dresses I really liked. But OMG...the models sucked! Well, all but one really! Looked like something they threw together at the last minute and no one was paid for their time hahaha This one girl couldn't even smile...she looked miserable...she was even chewing gum! How crass! Also, they ALL held the dress as they walked which really annoyed me and looked so unprofessional. You could tell that many of them were too short for the dress they were wearing and/or their shoes were too big causing them to stumble! Here are the dresses I liked...please excuse the quality...a) the girls walked WAY too quickly, b) our camera is crappy :-/

I did NOT like this dress but HAD to show you this chick.

This is the fabisina punim! lol

(sour face for those of you who don't know any yiddish)

This was the only girl who walked and presented as a model

THIS is a dress I am definitely checking out!

Carmella by Maggie Sottero

This is what the dress is supposed to look like

Cheryll liked this dress!

I really liked something along the lines of the next few dresses

for our summer 2011 nuptials 

This bitch! lol I did not like this dress but

had to put this pic up here because of her expression.

Girl must've known I was talkin' shit hahaha

All in all it wasn't a complete bust. I found a photobooth vendor and photographer we both agree on. Next will be the BIG bridal event at the Del Mar fairgrounds later in the year...something like 300+ vendors! WHOA!  We want to bring Jordan with us so that she feel like part of the planning.

We ended the day by hitting up the buffet and losing some money in the slots lol It was an exhausting day!

Michelle didn't want anyone to see her food lol

This is why I love her hahaha

I DID NOT put them up to this hahaha

During the holiday break, because I get the week between Christmas and New Year's off from work, we had Jo's BFF Aimee come spend some time with us.

I'm in the kitchen cooking and I hear "Mom...get the camera ready and close your eyes."

THIS is what they did!  They got into my fedora stash and painted their faces to look like men!

Jo & Aimee dragged out hahaha

Some pictures from Christmas...late late late ;-)

I didn't remember us taking any pictures but low and behold...Cheryll came through!

Christmas morning was spent opening gifts at home then we visited Cheryll's family.

Proud of her new cap

Jo and her makeup

Zoe trying to lick me haha

Yes we got Zo gifts too

She could care less that we tied this ribbon around her body lol

 Jo getting her new Uggs

Later that day at Auntie Gigi's house

Cheryll's Inay making veggie lumpia...YUM I overdosed on this!

Cheryll and Jeter-Claus...this is her family dog! He smiles in every picture lol

That big dog is Spartan. He loves Jeter and tries to hump him haha

we think he's gay too! lol  he seems to like Cheryll too!

This is Drew. Cheryll's 28 y/o grown ass brother lol 

Jo with the little cousins, Madison & Meagan

We also took the kids to SeaWorld during the holiday break

Jo, Jade & Elijah

Jade is Cheryll's goddaughter...she is the sweetest thing ever!

  

Me & bug

Elijah & his LaLa (that's my mom!)

This is the only New Year's pic.

Cheryll & I stood home in PJ's and had couch time all day.

There are NO pics of us :-)

We sent Jo to Michelle's...here she is.

For the love of Aubrey London!

I came across some YouTube videos of vintage hairstyles by Aubrey London! OMGosh...total hair/pinup/rockabilly porn!!  I just HAD to blog about this quickly.

I have been infatuated with the pinup style and pinup models for so long. Once I'm done with my full back tattoo (by March hopefully if I'm not still being a baby about the pain lol) I want to do a photo session in this style. Now...hairstyling my own hair is not my forte. These are the times when I kinda miss my sister because hair was her thing...makeup was mine.

I am in love with her website and all of the links she provides. Make sure to click the header link for  "pinup packages" at the top of page and you can view a video of a day in the life of a pinup shoot.

Cheryll always calls me an old soul born in the wrong time.  I think I found my place in time :-)  I would LOVE to take some pinup shots with a vintage car and tools and stuff like that because Cheryll's such a motor-connoisseur lol. Yes...I just made that up! lol

Ms. London offers a vast selection of information on the pinup lifestyle from hairstyles to makeup tutorials to fashion. I love how personable she comes off, practically responding to every comment!

Check her out here and drop her a line:

Aubrey London YouTube Channel Link

Aubrey London Website

Pinup Girl Clothing

Happy New Year!

I'm soooo late with this Happy New Year lol but here's why...

Christmas was great though it flew by. I was happy to have many days off to be home and get the house in order. Christmas eve was spent at our house with friends and my mom was able to join us for dinner surprising Jordan. 

I have to admit some things here...I'm not feeling all too "happy" yet in this new year. Maybe it's the "season" for being down or something. Typically I'm the more chipper happy-go-lucky type who peps everyone else up. But lately I feel like the world, and things around me, are just bringing me down man. And there just seems like there's soooo much to manage all around. 

1st - Mom visiting...touchy subject. I love my mom but she came out here on my sister's dime and that posed some restrictions. See, my sister and I we don't get along and that's putting it nicely. She and her husband, although having their own "gay" lifestyles in the past (marriage of convenience? maybe!), do not agree with mine in the present. Oh they will spout some crap about our failed relationship being based on some garbage I supposedly told another family member (although I have proof of that email exchange and they are the liars!) but it really boils down to their organized religion and what it had bread them to believe about homosexuality and the sort. I suppose they even feel "cured" themselves. Who knows? But mom was staying at their place and was able to spend Christmas eve with us and one day later that week before heading back to PA. Two things suck the most about this. A) We couldn't see my nephews. I still sent presents through my mom. But we weren't allowed to see the boys. B) I had to deal with my daughters tears over not being able to see her grandmother again until next summer and how they had such little time to be together when  she was here.

2nd - The work thing is kinda stressing me out although I don't generally talk negative about it but I simply do not trust anyone I work with anymore. Sad to admit but I feel like every time I walk into this building someone is up to something! Behaviors of some of the people I work closely with are so sporadic and questionable that it's making me sketch out! Not based in reality I'm sure. My therapist would have me look at the facts of things first, then focus on only those facts rather than the circumstances I may be "creating" in my own head hahaha Good part is that I've volunteered to cover the work of a colleague in another department while she is out on maternity leave. So if I don't get axed before end of March...I'm solid through June!

3rd - Because of all the work uncertainty we haven't moved forward really with any solid wedding planning. I still feel like i'm in the dream state of "is this really happening?" Sure we "talk" about a lot of little things with it. I feel like I'm the only one really really thinking about this wedding and having ideas. I know that Cheryll would rather keep it simple and elope lol Part of me feels like this would be the easiest thing to do too. I'm so stuck on this dream I've always had about getting married and having other people there...people who I love the most with me. I don't want it to be some big pomp and circumstance. I don't need anything over the top. But I'm finding myself feeling bad about the little things that I do want. Am I being selfish because I want something that I, not you or anyone with an opinion, wants? I've been vocal about things that I want. But also I feel more bad that Cheryll hasn't voiced anything really. I don't know anything that she wants. And this makes me feel really alone right now. I know she's focused on her work and the upcoming academy in March and has her own stressors...but really? I feel like I'm always having to work with other people's stuff and around other peoples schedules...can someone throw me a bone please?? I know money is always a factor and we are starting to save and can't make any major deposits yet (we really don't have to until fall of this year) but can't we atleast devote some "together" time into really discussing this? I have no clear "theme" or "colors", I have ideas, but without her input...I'm kinda up in the air with everything.

4th - We had the over-the-range microwave in our kitchen short out. I got to pick out a really nice one but yesterday was a hot mess at home. I had scheduled the housekeeper to come on a morning when Cheryll didn't have to wake up early...big mistake 'cause Cheryll had to jump outta bed when she got there. Home Depot scheduled my delivery for 9a-1p which coincided with everything else. Ugghhh it was nuts for a little bit. Cheryll was late to work 'cause she couldn't shower until Estella was done in our room and then the truck blocked the driveway, and she had a terrible attitude about it all lol which put me on the defensive and left me in a mood. The garbage disposal had also stopped working during the holiday and it's since been fixed but the outlet cover/switch is still exposed and I don't care that it's not the same color but the guy did so now we have to wait until he's available again to change it out and complete the job!

5th - I've started my 2011 Goals list and I think they are very practical things I want to accomplish this year...trouble is I'm sooo not motivated!  When I'm home, after laundry, and cooking, and dealing with Jordan...all I want to do is lay in bed and watch TV!

So all this leads up to a big question....Could I possibly be a little depressed???

We're going to our first bridal show this weekend and meeting up with some friends. Let's see if my frown turns upside down :-)

When life throws you lemons....

So a few weeks ago I found out that the division I work within at the pharmaceutical conglomerate I've been tied to for the last few years is sort of "phasing out". While we've been cautioned to be "responsible" and not tell others that the company is doing away with us entirely, what do you think it REALLY means when they tell you that "no new science is being funded"?? It means with their focus remaining on the commercials side of the business and of those 2 products (we only have 2 mind you) one product is transitioning to Europe and the other is going off patent in 2 years...with no new science, nothing in the pipeline and no portfolio?? YOU'RE DOING AWAY WITH US!!!! lol Love how these higher ups always try to be PC in their delivery lol

So none the less I am faced with an impending lay-off at work. Most likely by March/April 2011. My emotions are running the gamut again. I'm sad, disillusioned, scared, anxious, relieved (? less work right now), happy to have more time on my hands, etc. Poor Cheryll has had to deal with my emotional highs and lows. Now I'm not one who feels that what I do or how I make my living necessarily defines me but I think what has me the most unnerved is the fact that this is my bread & butter. I don't like to every depend on anyone or be a burden/stress to others. I'm very uncomfortable with the fact that I may have to collect unemployment and bring in less $$ to our household, placing stress on Cheryll.

Never mind the fact that I hate having to sell myself! Can't everyone just tell by standing in my presence how awesome and valuable I am to them???  hahaha

Back to the grind of tailoring my resume and putting my "feelers" out there. Uugghhh can't I just sleep through all of this??

This of course is setting us back in the wedding planning department. Now I know we have time, two years out now, and while we like our "date" it's not set in stone until we contract a venue, so all is still very much fluid, I have to admit that my spirits are dampened :-(  I so very much wish to hurl myself into the throws of wedding planning...or wedding saving lol....ahhhhhh such is life...I'm sure my efforts will pick right up after this job situation is dealt with.

Our NEWly decided upon name!

So while we were in Hawaii...I brought up this topic once again. For me it's important to make sure we have a shared name because let's face it, when you tell people you're married that's one of the first outward appearances they look for. Now I know some of you may ask why I would want to subscribe to the masses or why I would care about outward appearances and such. But hear me out now...

To me legally changing our names means that we are taking our union just as seriously as we want others to. It will make life easier once everything else is in line. We have to draw up our wills, file for domestic partnership in California IF they don't repeal Prop 8, complete our medical advance directives and power of attorney. All this AFTER paying more to legally change our names in California because although our marriage license from MA will have our new name, California doesn't recognize our same-sex union as it stands today. THEN Cheryll has to legally adopt Jordan so that Jordan can receive our last name.

Do you see all the BS we have to go through??  Makes my head and my stomach hurt all at once! But I would never trade a second of it! Being with her and being her wife is the only thing that matters!

Drrruuuuummmmm roooooolllllllll pplllleeeaaaasseeee

Our new hybrid name will be......

ABRIO

Short, sweet, to the point!

We decided our name out of two choices which Cheryll came up with and did a coin toss, sitting at the outdoor bar at the Hilton Hawaiian Village on 10/17 while drinking. Yup...us in a shining moment hahaha