Kinda...sorta...melancholy

So I'm kinda sorta melancholy...I keep having these anxious moments of how the hell are we really pulling this wedding off in a year!! I'm out of a job soon, taking on the new opportunity to finish a culinary program...new puppy...Jo & Zoe to keep taking care of on top of maintaining what we've got to monthly!

Am I being unrealistic?? This makes me sad during a time when I should be nothing but happy! I keep thinking about how we want a house so bad...is it responsible to have a "wedding" when we don't even own any property? Is it responsible to save $$ toward one day when we could be saving it for a permanent residence? I wax and wane all the time!!

God...I know you listen and I know that there are bigger things to focus on...but if my dreams of having a wedding are truly unattainable, can you step in and tell me so? I know through you all things are possible! You can move mountains to make a path where there is none. Please provide me clarity and discernment as we traverse through this rough journey. I promise to do as you wish...your will be done above my own! I just really need your presence right now!