For the love of Aubrey London!

I came across some YouTube videos of vintage hairstyles by Aubrey London! OMGosh...total hair/pinup/rockabilly porn!!  I just HAD to blog about this quickly.

I have been infatuated with the pinup style and pinup models for so long. Once I'm done with my full back tattoo (by March hopefully if I'm not still being a baby about the pain lol) I want to do a photo session in this style. Now...hairstyling my own hair is not my forte. These are the times when I kinda miss my sister because hair was her thing...makeup was mine.

I am in love with her website and all of the links she provides. Make sure to click the header link for  "pinup packages" at the top of page and you can view a video of a day in the life of a pinup shoot.

Cheryll always calls me an old soul born in the wrong time.  I think I found my place in time :-)  I would LOVE to take some pinup shots with a vintage car and tools and stuff like that because Cheryll's such a motor-connoisseur lol. Yes...I just made that up! lol

Ms. London offers a vast selection of information on the pinup lifestyle from hairstyles to makeup tutorials to fashion. I love how personable she comes off, practically responding to every comment!

Check her out here and drop her a line:

Aubrey London YouTube Channel Link

Aubrey London Website

Pinup Girl Clothing

Happy New Year!

I'm soooo late with this Happy New Year lol but here's why...

Christmas was great though it flew by. I was happy to have many days off to be home and get the house in order. Christmas eve was spent at our house with friends and my mom was able to join us for dinner surprising Jordan. 

I have to admit some things here...I'm not feeling all too "happy" yet in this new year. Maybe it's the "season" for being down or something. Typically I'm the more chipper happy-go-lucky type who peps everyone else up. But lately I feel like the world, and things around me, are just bringing me down man. And there just seems like there's soooo much to manage all around. 

1st - Mom visiting...touchy subject. I love my mom but she came out here on my sister's dime and that posed some restrictions. See, my sister and I we don't get along and that's putting it nicely. She and her husband, although having their own "gay" lifestyles in the past (marriage of convenience? maybe!), do not agree with mine in the present. Oh they will spout some crap about our failed relationship being based on some garbage I supposedly told another family member (although I have proof of that email exchange and they are the liars!) but it really boils down to their organized religion and what it had bread them to believe about homosexuality and the sort. I suppose they even feel "cured" themselves. Who knows? But mom was staying at their place and was able to spend Christmas eve with us and one day later that week before heading back to PA. Two things suck the most about this. A) We couldn't see my nephews. I still sent presents through my mom. But we weren't allowed to see the boys. B) I had to deal with my daughters tears over not being able to see her grandmother again until next summer and how they had such little time to be together when  she was here.

2nd - The work thing is kinda stressing me out although I don't generally talk negative about it but I simply do not trust anyone I work with anymore. Sad to admit but I feel like every time I walk into this building someone is up to something! Behaviors of some of the people I work closely with are so sporadic and questionable that it's making me sketch out! Not based in reality I'm sure. My therapist would have me look at the facts of things first, then focus on only those facts rather than the circumstances I may be "creating" in my own head hahaha Good part is that I've volunteered to cover the work of a colleague in another department while she is out on maternity leave. So if I don't get axed before end of March...I'm solid through June!

3rd - Because of all the work uncertainty we haven't moved forward really with any solid wedding planning. I still feel like i'm in the dream state of "is this really happening?" Sure we "talk" about a lot of little things with it. I feel like I'm the only one really really thinking about this wedding and having ideas. I know that Cheryll would rather keep it simple and elope lol Part of me feels like this would be the easiest thing to do too. I'm so stuck on this dream I've always had about getting married and having other people there...people who I love the most with me. I don't want it to be some big pomp and circumstance. I don't need anything over the top. But I'm finding myself feeling bad about the little things that I do want. Am I being selfish because I want something that I, not you or anyone with an opinion, wants? I've been vocal about things that I want. But also I feel more bad that Cheryll hasn't voiced anything really. I don't know anything that she wants. And this makes me feel really alone right now. I know she's focused on her work and the upcoming academy in March and has her own stressors...but really? I feel like I'm always having to work with other people's stuff and around other peoples schedules...can someone throw me a bone please?? I know money is always a factor and we are starting to save and can't make any major deposits yet (we really don't have to until fall of this year) but can't we atleast devote some "together" time into really discussing this? I have no clear "theme" or "colors", I have ideas, but without her input...I'm kinda up in the air with everything.

4th - We had the over-the-range microwave in our kitchen short out. I got to pick out a really nice one but yesterday was a hot mess at home. I had scheduled the housekeeper to come on a morning when Cheryll didn't have to wake up early...big mistake 'cause Cheryll had to jump outta bed when she got there. Home Depot scheduled my delivery for 9a-1p which coincided with everything else. Ugghhh it was nuts for a little bit. Cheryll was late to work 'cause she couldn't shower until Estella was done in our room and then the truck blocked the driveway, and she had a terrible attitude about it all lol which put me on the defensive and left me in a mood. The garbage disposal had also stopped working during the holiday and it's since been fixed but the outlet cover/switch is still exposed and I don't care that it's not the same color but the guy did so now we have to wait until he's available again to change it out and complete the job!

5th - I've started my 2011 Goals list and I think they are very practical things I want to accomplish this year...trouble is I'm sooo not motivated!  When I'm home, after laundry, and cooking, and dealing with Jordan...all I want to do is lay in bed and watch TV!

So all this leads up to a big question....Could I possibly be a little depressed???

We're going to our first bridal show this weekend and meeting up with some friends. Let's see if my frown turns upside down :-)

When life throws you lemons....

So a few weeks ago I found out that the division I work within at the pharmaceutical conglomerate I've been tied to for the last few years is sort of "phasing out". While we've been cautioned to be "responsible" and not tell others that the company is doing away with us entirely, what do you think it REALLY means when they tell you that "no new science is being funded"?? It means with their focus remaining on the commercials side of the business and of those 2 products (we only have 2 mind you) one product is transitioning to Europe and the other is going off patent in 2 years...with no new science, nothing in the pipeline and no portfolio?? YOU'RE DOING AWAY WITH US!!!! lol Love how these higher ups always try to be PC in their delivery lol

So none the less I am faced with an impending lay-off at work. Most likely by March/April 2011. My emotions are running the gamut again. I'm sad, disillusioned, scared, anxious, relieved (? less work right now), happy to have more time on my hands, etc. Poor Cheryll has had to deal with my emotional highs and lows. Now I'm not one who feels that what I do or how I make my living necessarily defines me but I think what has me the most unnerved is the fact that this is my bread & butter. I don't like to every depend on anyone or be a burden/stress to others. I'm very uncomfortable with the fact that I may have to collect unemployment and bring in less $$ to our household, placing stress on Cheryll.

Never mind the fact that I hate having to sell myself! Can't everyone just tell by standing in my presence how awesome and valuable I am to them???  hahaha

Back to the grind of tailoring my resume and putting my "feelers" out there. Uugghhh can't I just sleep through all of this??

This of course is setting us back in the wedding planning department. Now I know we have time, two years out now, and while we like our "date" it's not set in stone until we contract a venue, so all is still very much fluid, I have to admit that my spirits are dampened :-(  I so very much wish to hurl myself into the throws of wedding planning...or wedding saving lol....ahhhhhh such is life...I'm sure my efforts will pick right up after this job situation is dealt with.

Our NEWly decided upon name!

So while we were in Hawaii...I brought up this topic once again. For me it's important to make sure we have a shared name because let's face it, when you tell people you're married that's one of the first outward appearances they look for. Now I know some of you may ask why I would want to subscribe to the masses or why I would care about outward appearances and such. But hear me out now...

To me legally changing our names means that we are taking our union just as seriously as we want others to. It will make life easier once everything else is in line. We have to draw up our wills, file for domestic partnership in California IF they don't repeal Prop 8, complete our medical advance directives and power of attorney. All this AFTER paying more to legally change our names in California because although our marriage license from MA will have our new name, California doesn't recognize our same-sex union as it stands today. THEN Cheryll has to legally adopt Jordan so that Jordan can receive our last name.

Do you see all the BS we have to go through??  Makes my head and my stomach hurt all at once! But I would never trade a second of it! Being with her and being her wife is the only thing that matters!

Drrruuuuummmmm roooooolllllllll pplllleeeaaaasseeee

Our new hybrid name will be......

ABRIO

Short, sweet, to the point!

We decided our name out of two choices which Cheryll came up with and did a coin toss, sitting at the outdoor bar at the Hilton Hawaiian Village on 10/17 while drinking. Yup...us in a shining moment hahaha

Happy Thanksgiving!!

This year we celebrated Thanksgiving with one of my great friends Christie and her girls. She's going through a particularly hard time right now being separated and transitioning once again. I felt it particularly important to make sure we were all together for the holiday.  I cooked a big turkey which was so moist it fell of the bone! So we don't have a picture of the turkey in it's full glory but we have pics of everything we ate :-)  All in all it was a great day...got to watch Eat, Pray, Love together while the kids played and ended the night well.

our carved turkey lol

Lenah, Jo & Ella

Name Cards 

 Sean, the girls dad being silly

Cheryll laid out lol

Happy Thanksgiving 2010 lol 

Happy Halloween!!

OK so I realize I'm way behind here but this is officially the "HAPPY HALLOWEEN" post I failed to provide in a timely manner.  Thanksgiving is coming next!

My friend Joy had a housewarming/Halloween party and these pics are from 10/30.  It was a great night with the girls. Cheryll had to work and couldn't join us :-(  Here are some pictures. I was a gothic vampire bride I think hahaha

The Girls!

Minky asked for it, really she did lol

Susan's awesome BOO cake!

Me & Joy

On Halloween night which fell on a Sunday this year, we took the kids trick-o-treating in our neighborhood. Cheryll bought a scary mask and hid behind the car in the driveway and scared the crap outta the girls when we returned home. I wish I had a picture of it...truly hysterical!  Here are some pics of our pumpkin and of the kids that night.

Like mother like daughter lol

5 Things Not To Say To Gay Couples Getting Married - Via So You're EnGayged

Came across this article on the website So You're EnGayged; a site I visit daily.

This article is so awesome!  It reflects what I have experienced in responses I've received when telling family that we got engaged.

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Natalie Prizel wrote this post a year ago but we thought it was a great time to repost as the engagement season is coming up!

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Especially when it comes to same-sex weddings. Even those who want to be supportive often come down with severe foot-in-mouth disease. Invited to your niece’s lesbian wedding shindig? Here are a few common things to avoid saying to save you from being labeled a latent homophobe (or just to avoid an awkward silence):

1. You’re getting married? Is that legal?

The legal niceties of same-sex marriage are often not so nice. When someone tells you they’re about the publicly declare their love and commitment to another person, the don’t want you or the State to piss on their parade. If you’re trying to educate yourself on the legal status of same-sex marriage, check out HRC’s website. If you are burning to know right at that moment, at least preface your question with a hearty “Congratulations”.

2. You’re wearing a suit. Does that mean you’re more like the guy?

Rule of thumb: when you assume you make an “a-s-s” out of “u” and “me”. Gender expression and identity varies widely in the LGBT community. If a woman chooses to wear a suit to her wedding, it may be because she identifies as butch or trans* or she hates dresses or she’s having a fat-thigh day/month/year. When you get to know a couple well, you may or may not come to some kind of understanding of how gender works in their relationship. Then again, the mysteries of gender play out in a myriad of ways in all relationships, LGBT and heterosexual.

*Note: if you are unsure of someone’s gender identity (i.e. whether a person identifies as male, female, transgender, genderqueer, or something else), I think it is most often better to ask “How do you identify in terms of gender?” or “What pronouns would you prefer I use?” than making an assumption. Some people will be surprised and maybe upset you asked, but a genuinely well-intentioned question, with the goal of treating a person the way he or she wants to be treated is never wrong.

3. Do the Jews/Christians/Muslims/Wiccans allow that?

My mother always taught me never to discuss religion or politics. Well, not really, but if my mother were just a little bit more proper she might have. Religion can be a beautiful thing in the lives of LGBT people, but it can also be a painful one. If you ask, “Are you having a religious ceremony of any kind?”, most people will explain the ways in which religion and sexuality are being incorporated/reconciled in their wedding. If they don’t, wait till the wedding to find out. And if you’re not invited, I guess you’ll never know.

4. That’s nice that you’re having a celebration, but it’s not a real wedding.

This is just mean. What makes a wedding real? A marriage license? A minister? A $75,000 floral budget? How about love, committment, and community.

5. Isn’t marriage just a heterosexist and patriarchal institution? Why would you buy into it?

This question most often comes from within the LGBT community. LGBT people like straight people choose to marry for a variety of reasons: religious, personal, social, societal, etc. Also, LGBT people, like straight people, choose NOT to marry for a similar variety of reasons. You might not embrace marriage in your personal life or as a worthwhile goal of LGBT activism. But when someone important to you tells you they are going to celebrate their love for another, again, the correct response is “Congratulations”. Everyone should have the right and capability to choose.