When life throws you lemons....

So a few weeks ago I found out that the division I work within at the pharmaceutical conglomerate I've been tied to for the last few years is sort of "phasing out". While we've been cautioned to be "responsible" and not tell others that the company is doing away with us entirely, what do you think it REALLY means when they tell you that "no new science is being funded"?? It means with their focus remaining on the commercials side of the business and of those 2 products (we only have 2 mind you) one product is transitioning to Europe and the other is going off patent in 2 years...with no new science, nothing in the pipeline and no portfolio?? YOU'RE DOING AWAY WITH US!!!! lol Love how these higher ups always try to be PC in their delivery lol

So none the less I am faced with an impending lay-off at work. Most likely by March/April 2011. My emotions are running the gamut again. I'm sad, disillusioned, scared, anxious, relieved (? less work right now), happy to have more time on my hands, etc. Poor Cheryll has had to deal with my emotional highs and lows. Now I'm not one who feels that what I do or how I make my living necessarily defines me but I think what has me the most unnerved is the fact that this is my bread & butter. I don't like to every depend on anyone or be a burden/stress to others. I'm very uncomfortable with the fact that I may have to collect unemployment and bring in less $$ to our household, placing stress on Cheryll.

Never mind the fact that I hate having to sell myself! Can't everyone just tell by standing in my presence how awesome and valuable I am to them???  hahaha

Back to the grind of tailoring my resume and putting my "feelers" out there. Uugghhh can't I just sleep through all of this??

This of course is setting us back in the wedding planning department. Now I know we have time, two years out now, and while we like our "date" it's not set in stone until we contract a venue, so all is still very much fluid, I have to admit that my spirits are dampened :-(  I so very much wish to hurl myself into the throws of wedding planning...or wedding saving lol....ahhhhhh such is life...I'm sure my efforts will pick right up after this job situation is dealt with.

Our NEWly decided upon name!

So while we were in Hawaii...I brought up this topic once again. For me it's important to make sure we have a shared name because let's face it, when you tell people you're married that's one of the first outward appearances they look for. Now I know some of you may ask why I would want to subscribe to the masses or why I would care about outward appearances and such. But hear me out now...

To me legally changing our names means that we are taking our union just as seriously as we want others to. It will make life easier once everything else is in line. We have to draw up our wills, file for domestic partnership in California IF they don't repeal Prop 8, complete our medical advance directives and power of attorney. All this AFTER paying more to legally change our names in California because although our marriage license from MA will have our new name, California doesn't recognize our same-sex union as it stands today. THEN Cheryll has to legally adopt Jordan so that Jordan can receive our last name.

Do you see all the BS we have to go through??  Makes my head and my stomach hurt all at once! But I would never trade a second of it! Being with her and being her wife is the only thing that matters!

Drrruuuuummmmm roooooolllllllll pplllleeeaaaasseeee

Our new hybrid name will be......

ABRIO

Short, sweet, to the point!

We decided our name out of two choices which Cheryll came up with and did a coin toss, sitting at the outdoor bar at the Hilton Hawaiian Village on 10/17 while drinking. Yup...us in a shining moment hahaha

Happy Thanksgiving!!

This year we celebrated Thanksgiving with one of my great friends Christie and her girls. She's going through a particularly hard time right now being separated and transitioning once again. I felt it particularly important to make sure we were all together for the holiday.  I cooked a big turkey which was so moist it fell of the bone! So we don't have a picture of the turkey in it's full glory but we have pics of everything we ate :-)  All in all it was a great day...got to watch Eat, Pray, Love together while the kids played and ended the night well.

our carved turkey lol

Lenah, Jo & Ella

Name Cards 

 Sean, the girls dad being silly

Cheryll laid out lol

Happy Thanksgiving 2010 lol 

Happy Halloween!!

OK so I realize I'm way behind here but this is officially the "HAPPY HALLOWEEN" post I failed to provide in a timely manner.  Thanksgiving is coming next!

My friend Joy had a housewarming/Halloween party and these pics are from 10/30.  It was a great night with the girls. Cheryll had to work and couldn't join us :-(  Here are some pictures. I was a gothic vampire bride I think hahaha

The Girls!

Minky asked for it, really she did lol

Susan's awesome BOO cake!

Me & Joy

On Halloween night which fell on a Sunday this year, we took the kids trick-o-treating in our neighborhood. Cheryll bought a scary mask and hid behind the car in the driveway and scared the crap outta the girls when we returned home. I wish I had a picture of it...truly hysterical!  Here are some pics of our pumpkin and of the kids that night.

Like mother like daughter lol

5 Things Not To Say To Gay Couples Getting Married - Via So You're EnGayged

Came across this article on the website So You're EnGayged; a site I visit daily.

This article is so awesome!  It reflects what I have experienced in responses I've received when telling family that we got engaged.

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Natalie Prizel wrote this post a year ago but we thought it was a great time to repost as the engagement season is coming up!

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Especially when it comes to same-sex weddings. Even those who want to be supportive often come down with severe foot-in-mouth disease. Invited to your niece’s lesbian wedding shindig? Here are a few common things to avoid saying to save you from being labeled a latent homophobe (or just to avoid an awkward silence):

1. You’re getting married? Is that legal?

The legal niceties of same-sex marriage are often not so nice. When someone tells you they’re about the publicly declare their love and commitment to another person, the don’t want you or the State to piss on their parade. If you’re trying to educate yourself on the legal status of same-sex marriage, check out HRC’s website. If you are burning to know right at that moment, at least preface your question with a hearty “Congratulations”.

2. You’re wearing a suit. Does that mean you’re more like the guy?

Rule of thumb: when you assume you make an “a-s-s” out of “u” and “me”. Gender expression and identity varies widely in the LGBT community. If a woman chooses to wear a suit to her wedding, it may be because she identifies as butch or trans* or she hates dresses or she’s having a fat-thigh day/month/year. When you get to know a couple well, you may or may not come to some kind of understanding of how gender works in their relationship. Then again, the mysteries of gender play out in a myriad of ways in all relationships, LGBT and heterosexual.

*Note: if you are unsure of someone’s gender identity (i.e. whether a person identifies as male, female, transgender, genderqueer, or something else), I think it is most often better to ask “How do you identify in terms of gender?” or “What pronouns would you prefer I use?” than making an assumption. Some people will be surprised and maybe upset you asked, but a genuinely well-intentioned question, with the goal of treating a person the way he or she wants to be treated is never wrong.

3. Do the Jews/Christians/Muslims/Wiccans allow that?

My mother always taught me never to discuss religion or politics. Well, not really, but if my mother were just a little bit more proper she might have. Religion can be a beautiful thing in the lives of LGBT people, but it can also be a painful one. If you ask, “Are you having a religious ceremony of any kind?”, most people will explain the ways in which religion and sexuality are being incorporated/reconciled in their wedding. If they don’t, wait till the wedding to find out. And if you’re not invited, I guess you’ll never know.

4. That’s nice that you’re having a celebration, but it’s not a real wedding.

This is just mean. What makes a wedding real? A marriage license? A minister? A $75,000 floral budget? How about love, committment, and community.

5. Isn’t marriage just a heterosexist and patriarchal institution? Why would you buy into it?

This question most often comes from within the LGBT community. LGBT people like straight people choose to marry for a variety of reasons: religious, personal, social, societal, etc. Also, LGBT people, like straight people, choose NOT to marry for a similar variety of reasons. You might not embrace marriage in your personal life or as a worthwhile goal of LGBT activism. But when someone important to you tells you they are going to celebrate their love for another, again, the correct response is “Congratulations”. Everyone should have the right and capability to choose.

Pfizer Gala - our "coming out" of sorts!

So we picked up these beautiful dresses in Honolulu to prepare for my work gala which was the day after we returned from Hawaii.

I had previously made appointments for us with my makeup artist so that we would be ready for the evening.

At the dinner I introduced Cheryll as my fiancée to many of my colleagues. None of them reacted negatively, not that I suspected any of them would. Many were extremely genuine and came to our table to express their congratulations and meet Cheryll. Several of them were kind of shocked to find out I was even dating because that's a part of my life I don't share to easily with others (just my bestest who works with me too).

Here are some pics from the night. Cheryll looks so absolutely amazingly beautiful! I just know I'm going to cry like a baby when I see her for the first time at our wedding.

This is us with my BFF Michelle and her mother Kim

I love this picture! Wonder what she's smiling about lol

So beautiful! I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

Took a picture of our photobooth picture lol

LOVE her tattoos!

So many things we've done...so little time to blog!!

Kinda bummed that it's taken me soooo long to get back to blogging. I have to be more committed to blogging consistently. I have good intentions...but life just sort of sneaks up on you in that way that leaves you scratching your head all bewildered wondering how time got away from you again!

So here's a recap of what's happened since my absolutely-most-fantastic-birthday-ever!  WE WENT TO OAHU HAWAII!  WHAT WHAT!! lol LOVED IT!  I have the best fiancée in the world!  She booked this trip for us in September, which was supposed to be an early b-day gift for Jordan but I have to admit that I was still in glorious birthday/engagement mode so I kinda felt that the trip was still all for me :-)

I so want to live in Hawaii one day.  It is just as beautiful as they show in the movies and on TV and in print ads...truly paradise!

Here are some pics from our trip:

We stayed at the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Honolulu on Waikiki Beach

Appropriately named the Rainbow Tower just for us! lol

View from our room

Jo at dinner the night of arrival

Pool time!

It was beautiful weather! 80's every day!

 We decided our "married" last name over drinks and a coin toss! haha

 Byodo-In Temple

Giovannis Original White Shrimp Truck - oh yea!!!

Dole Plantation

Luau Dinner at the Polynesian Cultural Center

HA! Breath of Life show

Cheryll chillin'

While we were in Honolulu we met with a stylist at Nordstom's to pick out some cocktail dresses/shoes for my Pfizer work gala which was the day after we returned. I'll blog about that in a separate post :-)

All in all...Hawaii was EXCELLENT!!

JUST ENGAGED AGAIN!! Birthday Brunch AND CHERYLL'S PROPOSAL TO ME!!!!!

WOW! YES! AMAZING!

I knew she was up to something!  I kept telling our friends I just knew something was up. See...some call it sneaky, snoopy...I call it intuition and being highly psychic sensitive!  Yup...thats me!

So on Saturday, October 9th, I had this big brunch planned with all my closest friends. One of my besties, Amy, and her husband and new baby girl Haylie were coming for the weekend from Yuma. I had friends coming down from LA and Temecula. It was an absolute beautiful day. I planned this brunch at JRDN Restaurant in the Tower 23 Hotel in Pacific Beach San Diego. There was a huge street fair going on so roads were blocked. I was late because I just had to pick up my favorite cupcakes from Batter Up Cupcakes in Rancho Bernardo to celebrate with. We were supposed to start at 11:30...we started more like 1pm. But that was fine because they had the most yummy strawberry orange mimosas.The weather was awesome...there was music playing from the fair...the babies were dancing and I was surrounded by people I loved. I forgot my camera so I only have a few pictures from the day. I'm waiting on my friends to send all of the pics they took so I can upload them.

Me, Joy & Susan

Michelle had to leave early-ish to take Elijah to Disney on Ice so she prompted the b-day gift opening. I got some cool stuff. Then came the big box. Now, it was disguised as a gift from Bed, Bath & Beyond but I knew better. I had even brought a small clutch knowing that in that box was my new purse and I could just slide my old one into my new one :-)

Sure enough...there it was:

So pretty :-)  But that wasn't all. Inside there was a DVD that said "Play Me" and when I turned around Cheryll had a portable DVD player ready. We popped it in and everyone gathered around. The video was pictures of us...starting with our first date at Disneyland, the Wild Animal Park, our trip to Magic Mountain, etc. In the background there was music...my fav Michael Buble song "Just haven't met you yet", then it transitioned into Gerald Levert's "I was made to love you", and ultimately Musiq Soulchild's "Someone". It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. There were lovey-dovey quotes intermittently strewn through the video. Apparently this is what her Aunt had been helping her put together over the past few weeks since she's been so busy. At the end it said Happy Birthday! Then the last two screens read "Tami Will You Marry Me?" and a "Yes or No" hahaha

The box!

This is us watching the DVD...

I swear I wasn't pissed or anything lol...love Cheryll's laughing here!

I was ballin' lol

When I turned to Cheryll she had my ring in her hand and I kissed her and said "OF COURSE!"

Then Jo joined us.

This is my beautiful ring!

Here are our rings together!

(Blue diamonds are so beautiful!)

So next week is our trip to Hawaii!! I'm super excited!! Then when we get back it's save, save, save! 

We are planning on waiting to see what California ultimately decides in the Prop 8 BS.  It would be nice to be legally married in our own state. But if they don't overturn it and open up marriages again by next Summer, we will fly to Boston and get our legal on out there. We're visiting my family for the 4th so we'll fly to MA, apply for the license, head down to PA, hang out and firework it, head back up and have our ceremony around 7/7 or 7/8 and then back to Cali on 7/9.  It'll be small and just our friends from MA & maybe NY. Then I can get the fabulous Kelly Prizel to photograph our ceremony :-)

I also want to gather all my east coast besties to go dress shopping in NYC on 7/5 or 7/6. Joy will be there visiting her family at that time too and I'm trying to get Michelle to come out for a few days so we can all do this together!  It's gonna be amazing.  The dress I hope to find will be worn during our big sha-bang on 10/11/12, destination still TBD.  We're kinda all over the place with this...last week I was talking about buying a house in 2012 and having a backyard wedding hahaha we'll see what we actually end up with. One things for sure...it's going to be amazing!!!!

XOXOXO!!